Like Phoenix we rise…

You lost me, the day you left me, crying behind the blue car..
You lost me when u burdened me with the weight of decisions I despised taking.
You lost me, every single day when when u laughed at my tears
You lost me every time I called you and you dint call back.

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You lost me every little time you walked away while I begged you to stay.
You lost me when i sat alone, all alone, trying to justify your actions that you did not bother justifying
You lost me when you picked her..
You lost my loyalty when all I needed was your understanding
You lost me when you did not understand the things most important to me.
I started straying when I couldn’t find solace in your presence.

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You lost your place in my life when you dismissed my deepest feelings and most intimate fears
You lost my fidelity when he began to understand me
And then he too lost me cuz he had her..
In all this I am finding pieces of me
They are all over the place
But I need to find them pick them and put them Together.
Because noone else would. Nor you nor him

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The leaves fell on my hair as you walked away.
I had to brush them away myself…
My pants were dusty from sitting on the road..
You weren’t there for me to ask are they clean?
So I got up..dusted myself…brushed my hair..
Looked in the mirror wiped away the warm tears burning on my cheeks..
Walked straight to my dog.
He did not brush me away..he did not wound me with words.
He comforted me with fur stuck all over me..
He comforted me with those eyes that healed me…
Remind me again.. Why I need you?

Remember why you started..

The world is ready to bring you down, tear you to shreds. Days that will question how you got here? Why did you make the decision you did? and most importantly were those life changing decisions right after all? You reach a point where you self-doubt, your decisions, your will power, your self-worth and everything in between. So what do you do then?

Well, you need to stop sulking, stop with the self-pity and remember why you started! Be it your job, your love life, your passions & dreams. Go back to remember why you started in the first place. There was always risk involved, you knew that dint you? You still gave it all you had, you believed well, maybe this could work. You believed in yourself that hell yeah I will make this work. But somewhere all along, you let their stupid, baseless talks get into your head. You went into denials of not wanting to try at all.

The perfect relationship?

You started doubting if this relationship was even worth your time, you started doubting your choices, he’s too arrogant, doesn’t get you, too clingy? But weren’t these exactly the very things you had grown to love?  Did you ever imagine how life would be if he dint bother to text you? call you? didn’t bother to know how your day was going? You’d complain about that too, wouldn’t you!

The job that pays the bills & more

You got the job you were vying for? You got your expected salary and then you started finding flaws in the system, boss too adamant, workload too much, work hours too bad… how about all the bonuses you got, how about the time your boss stood up for you before the management, the time your boss did say how valuable you were. It may have been for their own ulterior reasons, but they did want you right?

Dreams that never let you sleep….

So you made elaborate plans, very sure you’d make all of them work. You planned, decided, asked for help. Burned the night lamp at odd hours into the night just too perfect your script or to simply make your art flawlessly beautiful. But then you received rejection email(Okay, way too many) and then you began to self-doubt you way into denial.So you stopped writing, your stopped traveling, you stopped doing the very things that made you feel alive.

So here’s a thing we should all do, snap out of it! Snap out of the endless cribbing and complaining that we so love being involved in. We are a privileged bunch of people, we have so many things that are working for us and we should be proud of where we are today. we have achieved things, we have stood against all odds, we have made our families proud just by doing what we do. We have at some point made ourselves proud too. So let us not stop here. Let’s keep going, let us keep making this work no matter how difficult the struggle.

So let’s take a step back, clear your head and think of all the reasons we began this journey in the first place. Then, just have a go at it with EVERYTHING YOU GOT!

Those things about 2016..

Well now,didn’t we all love 2016, NOT! It was definitely not on top of our favourite year’s list. It deserves every bit of our sarcasm, because come on, it did more than just give us a hard time. It would be wrong to say that it was a bad, vengeful, disgusting year! It was just a very overwhelming and confusing year. I hope it wasn’t just me that faced the wrath of this wretched year? Well, lets just say if 2016 was a person, she would be bloody hell interesting, just a whole lot of chaos, mess, indecisive, misjudged and basically hated by all!

So here are 5 things 2016 taught me…

Lesson No. 1: Do not listen to crap
SO we have all been here, we listen to a lot of shit from some completely irrelevant people, we put up with a lot of shit in the name of just patience. Well not every situation demands a reaction. Some situations just deserve stoic silence. But well, lets just face facts, there were way too many times you wish you had spoken, asked the person to shut the hell up and listen to you and you didn’t! Too many underlying reasons, important relationships at stake and just a lot to loose ends in general. But haven’t we all learnt that we need to improve, we need to be better versions of ourselves every chance we get, Let’s begin then?
Lesson No. 2: Plan your life
Way too many wasted days is how I personally would like to describe my year. Get up, plan it, plan it down to the T! You deserve this, you deserve your time, you deserve your attention, you deserve every bit of planning that would bring you a day closer to your goals. Unleash your pen, book ,pad, iPhone, scribble on your hand for all I care,but PLAN. Plan your priorities, plan your perfect vacation, plan your actionable for your perfect goals. As soon as your break it down, you’d realise it isn’t that unachievable after all. Break it down to each month, highlights you’d need to focus on each day! Lets do this guys, you and me, in it together

Lesson No. 3: Go a little crazy..
YEAH, I know this needs no introduction to you.  You have done plenty  of it in 2016 already, but who said all of 2016 was sucky right? Maybe all your going crazy, discovering yourself, challenging your boundaries was one of the best things 2016 could have gifted you. Maybe 2016 was a year of self discovery for these very reasons and honestly lets promise each we wont ever give up on that! Because self-indulgence is the best kind of indulgence. So go on that solo trip of it means that much, go take your parents on a trip if that is what makes you happy. Sit at home every saturday and do absolutely nothing or just go crazy partying every weekend. Do whatever the hell it is takes to make you go a little Harley Quinn! Because hell, we all know life is too damned difficult anyways to not have a little fun. So don’t challenge your sanity, live on the edge a bit! Unwind love…

Lesson No 4: Be open to new experiences

If there is one phrase to describe how 2016 felt,’One helluva ride’. It felt like those times when you know you drank too much, you had a great time, the best in  long long time, and yet it gave you the worst kinda hangover, you called some wrong people up, you upset some, you entertained some. What would you call that experience good?NO.. Bad?NO.. but it was just something.It was a special night and will always go down in history. Precisely how we feel about last year don’t we? So you met new people some really interesting ones and you can’t describe how it felt, it felt like how every first bite of doughnuts taste when you are immensely craving for it. Does that mean doughnuts are good for your health? HELLL NO! they just taste heaven freakishly amazing. Met new people, broadened your horizons, challenged your own belief systems, imbibed some new cultures, there was so much for everyone in 2016. I hope our new year gives us many more such engaging intriguing experiences. 2017 we are up for, just be a little ehhhh…sublte.

Lesson No 5. You Survived, where’s the virtual Hi-Five?

And if there is the simplest way to describe life in a sentence’ It Goes on’. So many changes, so many events that shook you from your soft haven and that enviable comfort zone. It didn’t feel right at first, your walls started to collapse, your gods started to crumble, your life started to fall apart like papyrus scrolls in water, right before your eyes and all you could do was watch! But where are you now? Still here aren’t you? The war is over, the survivors are all that counts, your life is all that matters.You survived through times you thought were impossible, doesn’t it ever make you wonder love, what you are capable of? You were capable of being the captain of the boat in the roughest of the seas, you were capable of making it through the day when it just wouldn’t stop raining crap, you made it through the night when they walked way. You made it through it all, you ll continue to, I promise.

So rub off that war dust, put down your weapons, you don’t need them anymore. Just live, love and experience. Because I don’t know what else there is to life besides these!