Wandering or Lost?

She walked those cool marbled floors with a sense of eerie. The urge to
turn around was never more concerning. She believed in angels alright, but
that came with its own set of perks. The good with the bad, the right and
wrong, angels & ….she caught her stray thoughts. Her mind was again swaying
back to those thoughts. That is when she heard Ellie, her best friend, her
partner in crime, the one who just “got her”.
It had been 4 years, the accident that had devastated her life, her family,
her pet everything she felt close to her. Except Ellie!   Ellie and she
survived…somehow through it all, they just did.” Lets go by the river, let’s go
cycling…it’s been a while” said Ellie casually. “Not today, I don’t feel like it”.
“You never feel like It, I am sick of it…sick of the four walls and the cold floor, I
need air…I need light, let’s go Rihanna” announced Ellie, feeling more
confident by her firm demeanor. She sulked but she knew Ellie was right;
they could use some fresh air!
They dressed up in casual warm clothes. Rihanna turned and guffawed
at Ellie” not black, not black, I hate black, WEAR SOMETHING ELSE!” Rihanna
never got over black…the funeral, the dirt, the screeching brakes, the thud,
slow groans…they splintered her soul. Black rendered her hopeless.” Okay”-
said Ellie, no questions asked no explanation expected, it was understood, it
was Ellie- Rihanna after all!
As they strode across the path and took up their cycle she noticed Ellie’s
cycle was punctured. She wondered how? It had only been a fortnight since
they had refilled the air. “Kids” she thought carelessly.

As they reached the river she could feel eyes in her. Familiar people,
some she liked some she hated some just acquaintances. She despised this
feeling, they stared like she wasn’t herself anymore….! She ignored, Ellie
patted her and took her hand…they sat reminiscing the old days! She laughed,
so hard after so long! It felt good, dint feel wrong anymore, the laugh!
She doesn’t know how long she waited there. She was just discussing
prom, when a lady in white dress stood over her, pitiful eyes boring down on
Rihanna!” What” exclaimed Rihanna rebelliously! “We need to go back” said
the lady.
The next thing she remembered was waking up to the strangely familiar
buzz, she got up, but the chains pulled her back with vengeance. Nervous,
worried & panicking she pulled at the chains. They remained hinged and
unmovable! The white lady came in, same pitiful eyes and she squandered
about the room. Rihanna tried to speak, ask questions but words failed her.
“Ellie” she mustered strength finally. The white lady slashed out with an
unseen ferocity and slurred out the words. Rihanna dint seem to hear them.
Ellie sat across the bed rest and smiled. An uncanny vicious smile…and
muttered with an almost mute tone” schizophrenic they call you RI, they think
you are…” Ellie’s words muted out.
The realization struck in like a million times before…the hospital walls closed
in on her…yet again. These tiresome circles were just but a part of a
schizophrenic’s life.
She was losing herself to Ellie, realization dawned! Fighting a losing battle one
to many times…

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s